ME

I don't know how to explain how I am feeling right NOW. Its kinda like how a Caterpillar might feel when it is going into the ca coon stage and hopefully I feel like the butterfly in the end. But, right now I just feel..... cacoony (new word lol)
I have had a metamorphosis of life changing events lately. Searching for who I was for a long time I found something even better. I found God. Not that he was lost-no, I was the one that was lost. I just put him back in my life at a time I really needed him. I realize he was always there just buried in a lot of hurt and confusion. So, finding him put me in a place that I've changed things in my life. This means changing my life style, attitude, and who I spend my time with. So, this has been a challenging task for me. Some of my friends and family are having a hard time with "the new me" or they are not sure what to say or how to act around me. In return I don't know how to act either because I am still the same. Its an uncomfortable feeling. So that leaves me wondering how do I make that feeling go away and just feel like me? So thats where the ca coony feeling comes in because I am in the middle of a transformation and not sure what to do.
I'm still me. I dont have to live the life style that some of my friends live to be friends with them. I dont have to act a certain way because I'm afraid they might think I've gone off the "Holly Roller" deep end. I'm still me! I dont want to have to feel guilty or uncomfortable for changing. The old saying friends come and go like the weather can be true. I see that some of my friends are in different places in their lives than I am and I'm not judgeing anyone for that. I'm not by any means perfect myself. This may change the dynamics of our friendships but it doesn't mean I don't love them any less. Just because I don't like to party and hang out some of the places they do doesn't mean I can't still have fun.
I know that spending lots of time at church lately and having to be in town on Sundays has been hard for me to see my sister and her family. She lives a couple of hours away and I miss them. Mom and dad go there almost every weekend and I feel like I'm the one that has moved!ha Thats hard for me too. But, I remind myself God sacrificed his Son for us. I realize I have to sacrafice things too.
So, I'm trying to find the balance of my new life style, friends and family. When I figure it all out then maybe I can spread my wings and come out of my ca coon like the butterfly. And my true friends will know and they are waiting for me while I metamorphisize into what God is doing in my life right now.
But, all in all - I'M STILL ME!

Now what day is it?

I've had a pretty rough week. One of those weeks that you have to think back and rememeber what day of the week it is. Rylie has had the Flu and Zack had bronchitis. Payton's just got a cold. I've had to miss work and was covered up to my eyeballs with paper work. So, its been a doozy!
The days have been really pretty and even though the boys were sick and running fever they wanted so bad to go outside. Course I wanted to also. Now that we are all better and the weekend is approaching here comes the rain. Yep-they say 90% rain on Sat. Oh. I needed a little sun - we all do. This being sick stuff has taken a toll on my poor mind. I need some sunshine and a breath of fresh air!
But ya know, where there is rain there is always sun to follow. Thats really the way life goes. Reading in my "Daily Message" a book my wonderful mentor gave to her little mentee, its a book that transpires from the Bible. It has a daily lesson to read about each day for the whole year. I love it! I have been reading ACTS And it tells about the struggles Paul went through in life. I mean this man was beaten, put in jail, riddiculed and still he preached the Lords Praise. Even sang hymnals and Gods Gospel while in jail. Never did he loose sight that he would one day spend an eternity of sunny days with the Lord.
So, I think about how sometimes when it "rains" in our lives how easy it is to be frustrated and feel gloomy and sorry for ourselves. This is only because in order to have a ray of Sun shine we have to wade through the deep waters sometimes. Each rainy day brings us closer to God and stronger individuals. With out these storms you would never find your rainbow. He wants us to use him as umbrellas of hope. So, if it rains this weekend thats okay-the sun will shine soon.
Oh I wanted to share that Mark (my worhsip leader) has asked me to write about my testimony of faith in the News letter they send out to everyone each month called the "Compass". Just a short stroy of how I became a memember of FBC and what it has done for me and my family. I will copy it here and share what they wrote when it comes out in March. I was honored they would think to put my story in this. Pretty cool.

Health-ifying (I know not really a word) My Temple

Well, everyone makes resolutions the first of the year and I've heard that the biggest one of all time is exercise, eat right and loose weight. Course I've given up on making this my resolution years ago because...Well, I know I will not keep it after about 1 month-okay 1 week I'm back to my old life style. Exercise for me is really hard to fit in my life, getting three kids dressed for shcool, fed, off to work, picking them up, ballgames, practices, blah-you get the point, has little room for me and Jane Fonda! Okay excusses are easy to make.
I love the way I feel when I have worked out in the passed. I have more energy, I sleep better, less stress, all around pretty awesome feeling.
So, getting motivated and finding time to work out has been an issue with me.

I started really thinking during this small group at church about something that has inspired me to make time for exercise. Do you know that you are the temple of God and that the spirit of God dwells in you? 1 Corinthians 3:16 This means that God has loaned you your body. Its not really "yours" he has given you this body to worship him. When asked where do you go to church-You may say FBC (where ever it is you go) but, the truth is YOU are your church. The Lord wants you to worship him every day every where. You are Gods Temple. Where ever you are you can worship. It doesnt have to only be done in Church. Like Lamar Boschman says (And I love this) You are the "Winnebago of Worship"
So, why wouldn't I want to make my Temple the healthiest I can? I am ashamed of my Temple sometimes and what I do to it. I want to be proud of my Temple. So, I've challenged my Mom to help me help her help myself-ha to become healthier!

Move over CAKE watch out Curves he we come! I mean the exercies place-Curves!ha

I'll keep you posted on the progress of this new way of life. Let me just say I PRAY that God helps me on this one.

Celebration

Well the weekend was full of celebrations! We celebrated Addison's b-day and it was a nice afternoon with family. All my cousins (except Watchy-which we missed!)was there and Aunts. Payton was cheering in the district champion playoffs, which the boys lost by 2 points at the buzzer. So, we all got to catch up and visit with one another and listen to the kids and the 100 million toys that talk, sing, play music and in general make way tooooo much noise. Course having a miagrane headache wasn't a good mix with this. But, after 2 kinds of sinus meds and tylenol-I felt better.

Then MY CELEBRATION on sunday with being baptized was awesome too! We had a wonderful and emotional sermon afterwards. People were walking out-including me and mom-with tears in our eyes. It was just a touching time. The title of the sermon was "The ulitmate love story" with God. Richard really touched a lot of people and as my Mentor Kathy put it - it was deep! We have all been guilty of just going through the motions of being christians. Getting up and going to church every sunday does not make you a christian. Living with the Lord "IN" you everyday in everything you do, from working, to reading the bible should be done with your best efforts.
This ties in to the lessons I've been going to about Worshipping. You can go to church, sing, and hear the message, But if you aren't feeling every moment, listening to every word of the sermon or song If you aren't feeling the word of God your not really there.
Reminds me of the stroy where there were hundreds of people in this church one day singing and praising God and jumping up and down dancing around the ilse. And God was listening and he could only hear one voice. A little boy that was singing his own song about Jesus and meaning every word of it.
I've heard the story told with more detail and a lot better-but you get the point.

C E L E B R A T E E V E R Y D A Y W I T H J E S U S!

B-Ball season almost over

Well this is the last couple of weeks of basket ball season PRAISE THE LORD! Payton will be done with cheering. Zack has some more games left-I love watching him though. Ryan will be home again. We've become strangers - so getting to know him again will be nice. ha (I think-lol) Baseball season will be next and Rylie Rooter will play this year-oh I cant wait! That will be soooo fun. Zack will of course play too and that means lots more ball games. But, Ryan will be home to help me.
Well,
I have a couple of prayer request for anyone that reads these blogs-yeah the two of you-ha One of my bestest friends and a wonderful christian person, Judy Wilhlems, husband Ward is going through some mystery illness that the doctors haven't been able to figure out. He is having problems with his muscles-they just stop working. He can be walking and all the sudden fall to the floor and not able to move. Some days are bad and He has to be assisted with a cane. He hurts and the pain is sometimes unbearable. His job demands his physical abilities to make a living. You can imagine how hard it is for a man, the bread winner and provider, to have to go through this. This has altered their entire lives. He's been told serveral things could be the culprit-from degenerate disk and muscle diesase, to maybe MS (multiple sclerosis) He's had extensive testing done the last couple of months and will find out Feb. 8th what this can be. Its been a long hard journey for him and Judy and will probably be even longer depending on the diagnosis. They both live for Jesus Christ and I know have him on their side. But every prayer counts!
Also, my friend that lost her 9 month old baby is struggling right now (well has been since day of Lani's passing) but is really struggling with having serveral family members and friends being blessed with new babies in their lives. She is happy for them but in pain to not have her precious baby girl here with her. Its a hard healing time for her right now. She did hold a baby (one of her friends sons that was just born) for the first time in almost a year yesterday and this is a BIG step for her. God bless her to help heal her heart.

Sundays are good days for me

We were created to give. Many people nowadays are blatantly and unashamedly living for themselves. Society teaches us to look out for number one. "Whats in it for me?" We readily acknowledge this as the "me" generation, and that same narcissism somtimes spills over into our relationship with God, our families, and one another. Ironically, this selfish attitude condemns us to living shallow, unrewarding lives. No matter how much we aquire for ourselves, we are never satisfied.

One of the greatest challenges we face in our quest to enjoy out best lives now is the temptation to live selfishly. Because we believe that God wants the best of us, and that He wants us to prosper, it is easy to slip into the subtle trap of selfishness. Not only will you avoid that pitfall, but you will have more joy that you dreamed possible when you live to give, which is the sixth step to living at your full potential.

God is a giver, and if you want to experience a new level of God's joy, if you want Him to pour out His blessings and favor in your life, then you must learn to be a giver and not a taker. We were not made to function as self-involved people, thinking only of ourselves. No, God created us to be givers. And you will never be truly fulfilled as a human being until you learn the simple secret of how to give your life away.

Have an attitude that says, Who can "I" bless today?????????????

Joel Osteen

Happy birthday to my baby girls!

Its crazy that both my sister and I had our first babies and they are wonderful little girls(Well, mine is far from little-but, still MY BABY) on the same day. We both brought into this world two wonderful girls that have already taught us a lot. They have taught us who we want to be. The song "Through my daughters eyes" by Martina McBride is a perfect song to describe how I think we feel about our girls. They have both brought so much to all our lives and to celebrate their lives on the same day is amazing. Addison reminds me a lot of Payton and it will be interesting to see her grow into a young lady like Payton has. I never really got that Linz loved my kids as much as her own until I became a aunt myself and now I know that wonderful feeling! She is my little Cappadie!
I was sad that I wasn't going to get to go to Addie's b-day party because my baby was in the State competition this sat. for cheerleading. Now, due to weather and other things Linz changed it to next weekend and I am so glad! Afterwards I think we are going to surprise Payton with going out to eat for HER B-day. We made a big deal out of Addison last year-well, it was her first one ever-and dont want Payton to feel left out.
I will be baptized Sunday too. I've been saved through the Presb. church but never summerged as a baptist-So, it will be a very blessed weekend for me.